Yes, it’s that time of year again, where we allow the San Francisco Poorly Named Because No One Alive Remembers Prospectors football team into the Edward Jones Dome.
I had to explain to my hockey-loving girlfriend why this game is such a rivalry when, in her words, “The Rams suck, right? Isn’t it a little one-sided?” I brought up last year’s first matchup, in which you might remember we played the SF’ers to an excruciating tie, which made hockey fans happy but infuriated anyone who, you know, values winning in a competition (You know, everyone, including hockey fans).
What makes me excited about tonight’s game was the last contest in St. Louis, because not only did we beat the Prospectors, we did so with a vastly inferior team. Plus, the Niners are playing like this:
Kaep’s only completing 56% of his passes (No Crabtree, no Manningham, and Anquan Boldin is OLD), and has more rushing yards than Frank Gore, albeit with no touchdowns.
Speaking of Gore (who, truth be told, is starting as my flex this week, because I saw what DeMarco Murray did last week and I’m a Rams fan, but I’m not stupid), he had a great first drive against the Colts last week, and then…
So, my thought is that Jim Harbaugh perhaps had a stroke while filming his most recent TV spot, and has completely forgotten how to coach.
This, coupled with Kap’s struggles and Gore’s middling yards-per-carry (plus their absolute embarrassment by the Neon Aquatic Pokemon Team To The Northwest, followed by their failure to create the Eff You Game at home against the Colts), gives me hope that the Rams can squeak out a win in a shootout.
I call it: 31-28 Rams, with ol’ Legatron getting us another win in the closing seconds after a Kaepernick sack-fumble by ALEC EM EFFING OGLETREE! (Go Dawgs!)